The rise of gang-related incidents in Morgan Hill is troubling, especially those involving violence. While parents, schools, police, and the community at large all have important roles in gang prevention, the most effective strategy to defuse the anger that leads to violence is youth peer-to-peer intervention. And intervention has to start at an early age.
I joined a gang in first grade. At that age, we didn't have hand signs, special handshakes, a dress code, colors or even a name. It was just a group of three kids - David, Danny and I - the only Hispanic boys in class. It didn't take long for me to learn that my chances of being beat up by my classmates were greatly reduced if I hung around with my two amigos, who were in a similar predicament.
Even in the company of my gang, my friends, the threats and intimidation by others continued until I reached third grade. That year over the summer I experienced a growth spurt that left me taller and bigger than most of my classmates. Then, even though I didn't seek trouble, I began to fight back.
Needless to say, I became a regular in the principal's office and was often reprimanded for causing trouble. During my third grade year, I was suspended from school several times, a source of humiliation for my parents.
The following year, my family moved to a different part of town, and out of desperation or frustration, my parents enrolled me in a parochial school, hoping a strict educational environment would do me good. They were right. No matter what stereotypes there may be toward nuns, one thing is true: Regardless of the students' skin color, gender, economic or social background, the nuns were equally mean to everyone. But they were fair. There was no need for gangs. We were all together in the same boat. In the four years I attended the school, I learned to appreciate and respect the nuns' equal treatment of all students.
Even so, at any given moment, whenever I felt threatened, my rage and anger would percolate to the surface, and I was ready to fight once again.
One day after school, a group of us were playing basketball, when Tim, a former student, showed up and began to ridicule and demean us for being eighth graders. After exchanging a few words, a fight broke out. It was really more of a wrestling match, but I won, and I told him something dumb like, "If you ever come around here again, I'll give you another beating." Tired, bruised and disgusted from the scuffle, I left and started to walk home when in the corner of my eye, I could see Tim riding his bike towards me. I clinched my fists, expecting part two, a rematch. Instead, he said to me, "I'm sorry for what I did back there." My knees buckled. I was taken off guard; I didn't know what to say. I was humbled that my victim was asking for forgiveness.
Tim could have simply walked away, licked his wounds and thought twice before antagonizing some other kids. But he didn't. He took responsibility for his actions and held me accountable for mine, and in so doing, taught me a lesson.
I realized at that moment that fighting was not the answer, and I made a vow to myself never to fight again in any circumstance. For the rest of middle and high school, I kept that vow, even though opportunities to fight arose. In high school, I had friends that were members of different gangs, they preferred to be called clubs, but I never joined any of them.
Young people join gangs for various reasons. Some join for safety or protection as I did, others join to foster a sense of belonging, some look for status and recognition to fit the "bad boy" or "cool" image, some are lured by the easy money associated with criminal activity, and others, tragically, follow a lifestyle of violence to be like their parents - generational gang members.
Schools no longer have a "boys will be boys" attitude toward student bullying as they did when I was young. While a parochial school environment worked for me, today many schools have strict student behavior policies and are better equipped to work with a diverse student population. Parents cannot always protect their children, but they should openly discuss with their children the treatment they receive from others at school. When parents are involved, they can be a great source of guidance for young bullies and young victims. Both need to adapt and become better socialized.
According to the California Healthy Kids Survey, about 7 percent of all youth in Santa Clara County are affiliated with gangs. Fortunately, that means that 93 percent of youth are not. The best strategy to combat gang violence is to support and encourage youth to hold each other accountable for their actions as Tim did for me. When young people confront one another in nonviolent ways, perhaps violence can be avoided and eventually reduced altogether.
Mario Bañuelos
Mario Bañuelos Mario Bañuelos has lived in Morgan Hill for 19 years. He has served on the South Valley Dayworker Committee and is a member of the Morgan Hill Community Foundation. He is married and has four children. Reach him at mbanuelos@charter.net.
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